The Weapons Of A Misogynist

How He Gains Control

Control In The Bedroom

No sexual relationship can sustain the electricity of the honeymoon period. Sexual relationships, by their nature, ebb and flow as people mature together. With the misogynist, however, to whom power and control are the dominant themes, the sexual arena becomes one of major conflict. It takes a concerted effort on the part of both partners to bring sexual feelings and preferences out into the open. When the element of negotiation is lacking, the sensitivity required for an open discussion of sexual desires and needs is usually of major conflict. It takes a concerted effort on the part of both partners to bring sexual feelings and preferences out into the open. When the element of negotiation is lacking, the sensitivity required for an open discussion of sexual desires and needs is usually missing as well. Women tend to be particularly timid about expressing sexual needs because it is often such an emotionally loaded issue for us. We have been taught all our lives that a great deal of our self-worth is tied into our being sexually desirable and responsive. Our vulnerability about our sexuality leaves us open to the misogynist's methods. His criticism, denigrating remarks and consistent rejection or brutality can slam shut doors that were barely open in the first place. As the relationship enters its post honeymoon phase, the misogynist may feel that his disillusionment gives him license to attack. What started off as romantic and sexually exciting may begin to change once he feels disappointed in his partner. The considerate lover of the early days may become not only less considerate but actively cruel.

Control Over Social Life

In order to feel safe, the misogynist must control your thoughts, your opinions, your feelings, and your behavior. Therefore, only those friends or family members who support his view of himself or his version of reality will be welcome in your lives. Anyone who may show you a different view of things will probably not be acceptable to the misogynist. The misogynist may use a variety of tactics to constrict and narrow your world. One method is to make social contact with other people so unpleasant that you prefer to stay home. Another control tactic in this area is the use of rages, tantrums and insults to coerce you into giving up the people with whom he doesn't feel comfortable. Some misogynists will insult their partners by openly flirting with other women in front of them. This behavior is designed to hurt, punish and humiliate. When a man uses social events as opportunities to make sexual overtures to other women, while blatantly neglecting his partner, he is expressing hostility. His partner, understandably, will soon come to dread going out with him. The misogynist's control over his partner is like the roots of a plant: it spreads into many areas of her life. Her work, her interests, her friends, her children, and even her thoughts and feelings can be affected by his control. Her self-confidence and self-esteem can be so damaged as to bring about significant changes in the way she feels about herself and how she relates to the rest of the world. Yet, despite such devastating consequences, many women continue to insist that nothing is wrong with their relationships.

I am not the owner of this article. This article is from an information package I received on Spousal Abuse from my local Women's Shelter, W.I.N. (Women In Need) House.

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